i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I understand Curling. That high.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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