I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
