I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
