next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
