you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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