I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
