I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
