he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
