I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize