I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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