So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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