apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
