Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
