Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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