oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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