While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
