your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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