we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is that strawberry winking at me??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
