I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
