first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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