I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
