I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
