Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
