please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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