i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it's great music for shaving your balls
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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