goodnight i made you a song goodbye
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
