we made out on top of his cat.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize