You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
