We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
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