I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
