Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
