I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
