I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
