I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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