oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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