So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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