oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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