The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize