just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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