so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The uberlube is also flammable
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
