and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
