he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im holly from the hills drunk
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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