I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
