i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
