oh god the rape fog is back!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
