idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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