Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
