how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
