What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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