He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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