i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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