garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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