My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
