oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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