I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
