Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
